Blogging · mental health · poetry · Uncategorized · writing

How Darkness Became My Friend.

I sat in the dark for so long, I got comfortable. I would fumble around confused and run into the walls, literally and figuratively. Over time, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I began to see more clearly. There was a comfort in the darkness, for I could not see my reflection, the self hatred written on the walls. It became my safe place from the spotlight shed upon me, all the judgements faded away behind a black cloud of hate.

I pushed everyone away, fear drove me this way, for I just wished to suffer alone. In the mind, you can not hurt others this way. It is a journey they must find for their own. Why would you want to take others to the depths of despair with you? That was my lonely road to travel alone, or so I believed.

You see, I came upon a mirror one day, and was saddened by what I had seen. A stranger stared back at me, skin and bones, the twinkle in her eyes…..gone. I wondered then how in the darkness, I could see her face so clear. He whispered just then, she is the light that shines with me, for our souls are twins. We are a packaged deal, two for the price of one, and I would say that is not a bad deal. For those like me, who are sensitive you see. The light begins to blind you, and you lose your way. Only then when the darkness descends, are you forced to see things in another way.

To find the light and dark within yourself and adjust accordingly. Do not fear the dark for he will show the light when it is time. Frame the mirror from which you found yourself and display it proudly. You have walked through something many never found their way out of and be ready to go back someday. For the lessons are never really over, this world is to cold to hold onto the warmth forever. You will find the blanket along the way and come out each time stronger than before. Have faith they say, I choose to find it in both places. They are both now my friends, for they showed me the right way.

~Jennifer Steen

*This piece was inspired by my sister Emily, she gives me the courage to keep fighting and to dig deep within myself and find the light within. We have walked similar yet different paths and found each other along the way. Along this journey we call life, we will encounter Angels in our midst, they will shine their light on us, and we will be forever changed. I love you Em and thank you!

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