health · Lifestyle · poetry · Uncategorized · writing

Me on display…..and more to come!

Hey everyone! I know I have shared a lot about what has been going in my life over the last two years. The pain, the sickness, my inner most thoughts and feelings. Things I have rarely spoken out loud about and now I am sharing them for the world to see…. it is really scary and freeing all at the same time. I had a major life changing awakening, three months of journeying, journaling, and then it all came crashing down. Slowly at first then like an avalanche, getting buried inside as you get hit from all sides. A struggled just to survive, I curled up inside and infected my body and mind. My ego and heart collided. Releasing the soul within the vessel I reside.

The extent of the damage is severe, I fight with everything I have deep inside to keep surviving and thriving, then sometimes shut down and revive. When I started writing a few years ago at the very same moment in time, I purged all the feelings inside all the way back to before I was one year old. Again, things trapped deep inside where the deep pain and shame resides. 35 years worth of a life, put on display by my own hand, so I have no one to blame. Fate has whispered my name and this was the plan. My past, present, and future all collided like a flaming supernova from which I came. I lost a great deal of people I still hold in my heart, I broke the chains holding me down and there was devastation in it’s wake. For that I will forever be sorry and must forgive myself and others to truly be awake.

Sounds all kinds of crazy but that is ok! Crazy is sane these days…..makes sense if you choose to look at it that way. So anyways, just wanted to share this with you and thank you so much for reading. There will be much more soon, I am getting better most everyday, healing the fractures that remain. I have so much hope that 2019 will be the year that gold fills the broken pieces and I realize my dreams, for hope is a beautiful thing. Writing like crazy, I have a lot to sort through. Crazy because I never put pen to paper before in my whole life. I woke up a poet one day and as you can see, it has stayed with me, for that is a blessing. Must have been all the stories I read, that live in my head. For the story is never truly over even after The End. ~Jennifer Steen

*The featured image is one of my favorite works of art and I would love to have the concept tattooed as a half sleeve with other elements of my life. It perfectly represents what it feels like to me, the serene resilience, as the war rages inside. If anyone knows who the artist is, I would really like to know! Thank you!!

Uncategorized

A world gone cold….so let us warm it with kindness!

Hey! So I have been thinking a lot about all the hate and division that exists so prevelantly in the world today, so I wrote a poem about it!

As you exist in the vast hole within your soul
Try and find the reasons you are there
What is your purpose?
Whatever it is, do it with kindness
For we live in a world gone cold
Stripped of our dignity and caged in defeat
Our voices silenced behind a curtain of false applause
We are raised in fear and shamed for our courage
In a sea of broken smiles and jaded eyes
Be the shining light and speak your mind
There is no right or wrong way, as long as your heart leads the way
So pull up a chair and get comfy, or grab your keys and go
As you take this life changing journey into the vast hole within your soul

Jennifer Steen

I have been able to accept just how much cruelty and hate exists between people, but do not like it at all, and wish for things to be different. The optimist within believes that compassion and kindness will always defeat the evil and ignorance surrounding us, as individuals and as a whole. In my own life I can honestly say I have my moments where I am not so nice, impatient, and stressed. Yet I never act of hate or set out to tear people down. Also being a realist I know that the idea of worldwide harmony and inner peace for all is a long way away if possible at all. You know that saying “Without suffering, there would be no compassion”. So my focus is on my own inner peace and being kind, yeah I know, easier said than done!

Now I will say that there is nothing wrong with being stern and taking a stand against those who spew their hate on you. People think being kind in the face of hate, is to weak. They are so wrong! While violence is also rampant in our society, no good ever comes out of it…..

My hope for the future is that those of us who do share this vision and strive to be kind and compassionate, will stay on the course and encourage others to do the same. Show by example!! But if they don’t follow, then stand alone! It is the bravest thing you can ever do!!

I leave you with this quote “It is the quality of ones conviction that determines success, not the number of followers”. ~Remus Lupin Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

YES lol I am a Harry Potter fan!!

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